"...I grew up in a wonderful home with two wonderful and dedicated parents...we regularly attended church...parents did not drink, smoke... I was a normal person with good friends... except for one small & very destructive segment that I kept to myself, guarded, and nobody knew about. There was no clue...I was an all american boy. It happened in stages, not overnight. My experience with pornography is that once you become addicted to it...at some point you get to where the pornography only takes you so far...you begin to wonder...I've known a lot of men (in prison) motivated to commit violence...every one of them without exception, was deeply consumed and addicted to pornography..."
-excerpts from Serial killer Ted Bundy in an interview by James Dobson on the day of Bundy's execution.
Matthew 5:28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her hath already committed adultery with her in his heart.
James 1:14-15 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
1 John 2:16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not from the Father but is of the world.
Porn is a deeply dangerous sin, diving into the deepest corners of the psyche. Here men (mostly men) delve into unholy thoughts, desiring the forbidden fruits of lust and desire. Not every such man becomes a serial killer like Bundy above, it is true. But at some level all are negatively affected. Wives are betrayed by the lusts of their husbands, feeling they aren't beautiful enough in themselves. Daughters and sons are led down destructive pathways, as the acceptance by the parents leads to a too-early interest, acceptance, and experimentation. There is a loss of natural shame and modesty.
There are acts that are meant by God for the marriage relationship alone, where sexuality is good and is part of the joy and beauty of that union. To corrupt the mind with porn can lead to later confusion, guilt, and lack of satisfaction in the marital sexual relationship.
There is a betrayal, a dissatisfaction, a darkness, a fantasizing that takes place with pornography. The ideal woman presented in porn replaces the normal woman to whom a man is married (or may someday be married) who may not measure up to the "ideal" that has been presented to him.
For some men, with certain sensitivities there is also a danger of guilt and depression where a downward cycle can be entered, of destructive behaviors internally felt, in the heart and mind.
Flee fornication! 1 Corinthians 6:18
Gateways to avoid/advice to give:
1. Beware of Online sports (online period). There is many a link within online sports pages especially. These aren't directly hard core porn, but are more like gateways or soft-porn. Cheerleaders, edgy stories, abound. Since males are primary "feeders" on the sports page, those that advertise and link to sexually oriented material are often found on the sports pages - realizing two areas when men have high interest levels- sports and sex. One link needs to another, beware. The idolatry of sports can lead to the snare of porn very easily.
2. If single, beware of time spent alone. You are most vulnerable to sin in this position, and the online availability of tempting things, including porn, abounds. Adjust your life patterns if this area is a concern and place where you are losing battles. Fill your alone time more with scripture and studies of the truths of God and things of Christ.
3. Be accountable. If you recognize a problem, be accountable. Pull someone trustworthy into your struggle, call it sin as it is, and flee from it. There is also a primary question as well, are you saved? If the reader is unsaved, you need Christ first and foremost. If the reader is saved, you must repent before much damage is done to self and others as well as your testimony and that of your family and church. If you belong to Christ, discipline is coming, it is better to confess and forsake sin than to be disciplined.
4. Use online software protections. Google porn blocking software like Covenant Eyes.
20 My son, keep your father’s command,
And do not forsake the law of your mother.
21 Bind them continually upon your heart;
Tie them around your neck.
22 When you roam, they will lead you;
When you sleep, they will keep you;
And when you awake, they will speak with you.
23 For the commandment is a lamp,
And the law a light;
Reproofs of instruction are the way of life,
24 To keep you from the evil woman,
From the flattering tongue of a seductress.
25 Do not lust after her beauty in your heart,
Nor let her allure you with her eyelids.
26 For by means of a harlot
A man is reduced to a crust of bread;
And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life.
27 Can a man take fire to his bosom,
And his clothes not be burned?
28 Can one walk on hot coals,
And his feet not be seared?